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Keep the Fire Alive After Being Home Together All Year. 7 Recommended Tips from a Therapist

couple cuddled on couch

Another holiday season is upon us, and yet this year is unlike any other we've encountered with the introduction and long overstay of COVID-19. For many couples we've talked to at our practice in 2020, it's been particularly hard to keep things feeling special outside of the routine. So, if you've been racking your brain about what to get your special someone or someones this holiday season, we have a few suggestions to help get you extra cozy under the blanket and by the fire!

Phone Apps to Get You Talking!

Whether you've been dating for years or just started a new relationship, here are some great apps for couples:

Gottman Card Deck

This is a research based app that allows couples to really channel their inner listener and communicator. (Android and IOS compatible)

Created by relationship experts Dr's John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute, this 14 flashcard deck contains open-ended questions, rituals of connection, opportunity, sex, date, give appreciation, "I feel", salsa (or sex life), needs, empathy, and listening. As noted by the Gottman's, this app is proven popular in the art of science and love!

Love Nudge

Discover what makes your partner feel loved so you can do it for them! (Android and IOS compatible)

Images courtesy of:

It's hard to keep up with daily romantic gestures in any relationship. Ultimately though it's about how loved you feel in your relationship when smalls acts are consistently completed. Love Nudge gives you both an opportunity to find out what the other values, and help you both show your love in ways that the other finds meaningful. Building off of Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages (physical touch, quality time, acts of services, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts), Love Nudge starts you with a 30-question quiz to find out how you like to receive love in these five categories. Afterwards, connect with your partner's app to see their results and you can start fulfilling your partner's language.

YouTube Date Night

Most of us are familiar with this amazing video/streaming service, but now you can also use it in creative ways with your significant other! (accessible on web).

Well, going out for a date night isn't typically available these days, but you can still have a romantic evening at home! The Dating Divas have a free couples "YouTube Date Night Package" for you to try!

The YouTube Date Night has three parts. You start with a scavenger hunt which entails a list of 10 types of YouTube videos you have to find. After you've listed your links, then watch them together. If you're doing a remote date, use an app to watch YouTube together in sync.

Nex is the YouTube Task Game. Pick up a chat and do the task in it. From funny and endearing tasks to lip-syncing challenges, this one is sure to get you both bonding! Finally you can move on to the voting sheet for the six best videos of the night to make it a permanent memory.

Intimate Sesh Time? Um, Yes!

So you've tried some of the apps above and want to take things to the next level? Well look no further!

Watch a raunchy movie

Watching a movie that features sexual activity can encourage you and your partner to feel frisky! Many studies have also shown that a sexy/romantic movie can increase endorphins which may in turn boost libido.

Play a game of dares

Who needs the truth part of 'truth or dare,' when you can get right to the good stuff! This game can get you and your partner to engage in funny and romantic activities. Additionally, it might also serve as a sentimental throw back to your high school, or middle school days (we won't tell)!

Enjoy a spa day together

Going to an expensive spa can put you out hundreds of dollars, so why not opt for one at home on the cheap? Together you both can celebrate pleasure with a focus on massages, face masks, manis, pedis, and peaceful background music. For music ideas check out Spotify's medication and mindfulness channels.

Have sex in a new or different place in the house

For most people, sexual activity is confined to the bedroom, and typically for privacy purposes. But it doesn't have to be. Send the kids to the grandparent's house or wait until they are asleep and have some fun in your living room, bathroom, or in your laundry room! If you don't have kids you can still take advantage of this activity! The novelty of the new environment can be enough to heighten arousal for the both of you.

Devin (she/her) is a mental health and gender therapist in Grand Junction, CO. For additional information about Devin and her team's services please contact us via our contact page above, or at our office phone: 970-644-2392

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